I have NEVER slept worse in my life than I did during my first pregnancy. And yes, that includes when my babies were newborns.
When I became pregnant with my first baby, I anticipated feeling sick and having food aversions. I also fully expected to just be uncomfortable as my pregnancy progressed. Those were things I knew would happen because I was warned about them over and over again. What I never considered, though, was that I would sleep like absolutely GARBAGE for 9 months. So, I’m here to warn YOU about that very real possibility.
For me, the first trimester brought a lot of anxiety and insomnia. I struggled with prenatal depression and anxiety, specifically during the first trimester and a little into the second trimester. This was the main culprit of my sleepless nights during that time. I dreaded the sun going down because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, and I would have to listen with envy (and, if I’m being honest, some overwhelming rage) as my husband snored away peacefully beside me. I remember watching the first season of Love is Blind (yep, the very first season premiered during my first pregnancy) all in one night because I just couldn’t sleep. It was miserable to just lay there in the dark, eyes wide open, letting my anxiety about not being able to sleep eat away at me. I absolutely hated nights. Unisom was my only source of help to manage to get some sleep during that time.
Then, the second trimester came along, and the insomnia and anxiety started to taper off. This was actually when I got the most sleep, which is on par with what everyone says about the second trimester being the “sweet spot” of pregnancy. The second trimester probably saved my sanity, honestly, and for that, I am grateful.
But then came the dreaded third trimester, and that ugly insomnia reared its ugly head again. I could not fall asleep for ANYTHING. Fortunately, the anxiety didn’t come back, so these nights awake were slightly less miserable. They typically consisted of me eating way too many ice cream drumsticks and watching Golden Girls until I finally fell asleep at around 3:30 a.m. As I’m writing this now, as a mom of two, that actually doesn’t sound like such a bad time. But in the moment, I didn’t love having such an erratic sleep pattern. Not to mention the additional difficulty of staying asleep with the constant need to pee and the ever-increasing discomfort that comes in the third trimester. Quality sleep was very, very hard to come by at that point in my life.
But here’s the kicker: If I told anyone, and I mean ANYONE, about how difficult it was to fall asleep or stay asleep or just sleep at all, they loved to hit me with the “Oh, just wait until that baby arrives. You have no idea how much worse it’s going to get.” And I believed them. I figured I was just doomed for terrible sleep until my kid could at least use the toilet on their own.
I’m happy to report, though, that they couldn’t have been more wrong. At least for me. Sleeping, even with the sporadic sleep schedule of a newborn, was SO MUCH BETTER once I was no longer pregnant. I still remember the first time I laid in my own bed after getting home from the hospital and fell asleep IMMEDIATELY. I remember waking up and being so amazed and relieved. And I slept like a rock! Fortunately, my children have a very hands-on dad (don’t get me started on that not being the norm), and he does a lot of the diaper-changing and nighttime soothing. But even with breastfeeding every couple of hours, I couldn’t believe how well I was sleeping. It was dreamy.
The moral of the story is, sometimes sleep during pregnancy is awful and hard to come by, but hopefully, that means your early days with your baby will actually feel like a relief, thanks to the sleep being so much better!
If you’re struggling with sleep during your postpartum journey, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Doulas of Utah and ask about our overnight postpartum doula support. We’re here to help!
